Unlovable..

Today she felt unlovable, passed by, forgotten ... A has been, use to be, a nothing more ... Heart hurt, stomached ached deep to the pit, mind saddened...

Soul numbed, spirit dead,hope gone ...

When do these feelings go away ...

Who will rescue me...?

Only she can rescue herself 

Sighs ...

You make sigh with the very thought of your touch, the kiss your lips Warm breath on my neck ,stroking my hair staring into my eyes uttering my name The smiles that linger...joy profound ,you do this for me...

Emptiness ...

There's an emptiness that hangs heavy in my heart a need a desire a void...

It's a sobering thought being alone 

I don't want things of the past but things of the future... Something beautiful something good and gracious 

I want this heavy weight lifted this thing that drowns me cut loose the very thought of you gone...

For whom do I cry...

For whom do I cry ? not for you not for I not for her not for he not for them not for we...Tears of ambiguity fall from my eyes 

For who do I cry ?

I cried for death I cried for love I cried for fear I cried for rest 

Love destroyed ... I cried 

She realized ....

She realized that she wasn't all the things he said she was she was more then that 

she heard ...she was ugly, she was worthless, she was good for nothing,she was stupid, she was a waste of time,she couldn't do anything right,not worth loving,she was hated... his words killed her soul, hardened her heart, made her invisible 

 Then she realized his words meant nothing he was the nothing anymore 

I tasted the devils tears but no more

I am ... I AM.... More then that

What you did...

What you did to this family made us broken made us angry made us divided 

It mad me angry made me hate you made me dismiss you from my mind completely ... But what we did for our family is make us strong make us whole

and make us stand out 

You did not destroy us ...we  flourished without the grip your of dispair

So alone ...In her fears

She was so alone in her thoughts in her actions ... She wore a brave face, flashed a big smile and talked a big game..

Yet  it was a nothing more then great acting. She deserved an Acadamy award 

She fooled everyone but herself, you can't lie to one self Pain has a way of making you aware ...brings the conscience of it all to your doorstep 

 And it gives no choice but answer 

If she could run she would yet she was aware problems run from will only follow to become even larger then previous 

Face your fear and move on.. Move past

Into nothing ...

She wants to fade into the nothing of it all . She feels like nothing she has nothing she thought she could control it but she's slipping falling back into the self created abyss the dark becons and begins to consume her. She fights it yet fails ... It overwhelms her once again please take this pain away release me from this sadness  take it away or take me away ... 

Out there...

Sometimes when we put ourselves out there we run the risk and really a certainty that we will get hurt ...but what is the alternative become this shelled up unemotional being . How does that benefit us ? When open our heart, we offer our heart ... But how will we know love if  we keep our guard up I've let my guard down been burned some but will  I know joy if don't experience a little pain ...💙

Fear be gone ..,

Sometimes we allow fear to creep into our hearts and we try to avoid it the best we can but it consumes and overwhelms us 

We know on the other side of fear there is change ... Comfort , a peaceful solitude then we ask ourselves why did I not move my feet sooner ,that first step is the hardest but thee most courageous 

Don't look back there is no future there only  the things of old that didn't serve us well  

Love yourself enough to know you deserve better, you are better then your circumstance - they do not define you 

Be what God created you for -Beauty-....not the ugliness devil tells you are

Rain on the roof...

Things that were once beautiful and what we once wanted turned very ugly and couldn't end soon enough ... We lost our love we lost ourselves. The people we allowed this tumultuous marriage turn us into are almost unrecognizable to one another I feel as if I never knew you,your touch was numb to my skin your kiss was dead to my lips your love had ceased to be i was left with nothing but a bed of tears drowning to my demise death claimed who I was ...listening to rain in the roof as I slipped to my death 

Broken...

My heart ached it was broken was lonely

it is hurt something lingers A part that never healed a part that will never be filled by any other,the void only you could

have satisfied with a little love and compassion yet nothing ...nothing given as it would been too easy to show too much mercy upon my dying soul I was left destroyed by your words abandoned by 

your actions I release you i let go of you I allow what you asked for to be rid of me

Goodbye good riddance 

Incredible ...

You make life incredible you make life beautifully amazing ,make it worth living

Worth loving ,worth going forward the things that left me void that left me empty are now complete because the love you show me. You allow me soar I was a caged bird who's song was mute now I fly now I sing now I'm free... In you with 

You I'm free

Touch ...

Your touch frees me wakes my soul eases

All my pains erases my sorrows I fall into 

Your eyes and I'm whole I'm me again 

I'm the girl I always wanted to be  Your

Breath gives me life your love-delivered 

My soul...

Dead...

She died today the part of her Heart that mattered the most was gone she was instantly dead instantly numb she deserves this she had earned her badge of grief she was nobody to anybody anymore she is invisible she is dead 

Words

Words can be lovely and sweet or they can hurt and destroy I have been held and comforted by beautiful words then I was torn and mutilated by a hateful spew I hate myself sometimes for allowing myself to be affected by the words of man they lie they play they deceive with words ...

Black...

Tonight my soul feels black ,dead ,void gone it was something not sure what exactly that caused me to turn off I decided I don't want be hurt again so ill shut it all down stone cold hard it's familiar it's "comfortable" to feel nothing because at very least numb is better then hurt... 

The Plan and Purpose of all things...

I know there is Plan and Purpose for all things i dont believe things occur by "accident" People come people go i just Pray God weeds out all  those that are evil and begin to kill the my Soul I know all  the right  things will  be given  at the appointed time as not  cause great  strife but a blessing ... You are a Blessing Queenyjmg 

Call to me...🔰

Everything about you calls to me your gentleness your kindness your care and compassion You provide for my needs,you take care of my Heart,Provide for my soul give cause to smile everything and all of you is for all of me...❤ 

My letter ..,

I'm writing this letter to you to reassure you of my feelings my intentions and my promise to you .I love you with everything I am and everything I have ,my intent is to love you today ,tomorrow And for always my promise is that my affection,admiration and respect for you will never fade .I Did ,I Do ,and I Will all the days of Our life together...I Love You