Ready for love...

I am so ready for love not just from afar but up close hands in my hair kiss on my lips staring lovingly into your eyes this waiting this longing this wanting is kinda killing me i know what can and cant be at the moment yet these emotions are at the surface i try to push them down and live as content as i can in the time being i just want you to know I'm still here ...QueenyJMG

Felt you so close...

I had this amazing dream i was lying next to you in a place you called paradise as i looked out it wasn't any place recognizable yet we were lying next to one another yes it was paradise i was running my fingers gently over your face lips and over your arms it was enough almost to climax it was perfection you and i this song was playing its funny how even music penetrates my dreams but i hope that this dream will come true and everyday will be our paradise...QueenyJMG

Comfortably Numb...

Sitting here being comfortably numb trying to do things that will bring joy to my life but it seems as if its all one big distraction i don't know if i have fooling myself by these attempts uuugh -i hate this feeling of hopelessness I'm trying really i am but to no avail my heart is dying again from lack of love i know I'm loved but to not have it directly in front of me makes me sad i know you love me you know i love you what can we do aside from wait i will wait for this is all i have the hope"us" ...a brand new day is coming and it will be Beautiful ... QueenyJMG

Decorate my life...

Been in this kinda weird state of mind lately i haven't quite been myself i almost feel as if I'm watching someone Else's life being played in front of me as if its a movie that I'm watching well it has been getting slightly better by this i mean i feel my creative streak coming back i want to paint, create, and make things beautiful again meaning the aesthetically speaking of my surroundings i have been living in this blank canvass of a home because i had packed everything but i don't thrive in such conditions so i have decided to unpack at least one box of my wall decorations for fear id go completely mad living in a sterile environment no don't get me wrong nothing has changed in terms of my intentions but for sanity sake i need "pretty" around me at the very least even the Venetian mirrors back on the walls offer me a little comfort among the chaos that i call my life but i hold out for you your comfort even in a barren house in would be decorated with love. One day soon you shall decorate all of my today's tomorrows and forever ... QueenyJMG

Want to go home...

I want to go home i think you know where and what i mean by home your arms are my home i feel lost like I'm wandering through this life without you near me i know that is almost impossible at this juncture in our lives yet i cant help but feel that way. I'm hopeful I'm content with the memories of our times spent together there will be a time for us ...Soon My Love... Soon Queenyjmg

Attitude of Gratitude

Well as i looked out at the ocean i was hit with an overwhelming urge to cry day before yesterday it was over cast gray and cold almost as if the ocean could feel what i felt i know that isn't so but i had an empathetic partner in the pacific i cried as i drove.My situation at times causes me to feel so defeated emotionally ,i am grateful none the less i know i have a roof over my head food on the table and most importantly the love of my children and friends ,& today however is different the sun has come out here in Los Angeles and it causes me to smile the sun is my north star that points me to all things good and lovely ahhh love these beautiful sunshine california days ...QueenyJMG

Too Long...

It has been entirely too long since I have written I miss expressing myself in written word I have so many things bouncing around in my head it’s almost impossible to focus on one thing ok well let’s try ok, hmmm gosh I have been going through some difficult days in terms of my situation anyone who knows me knows what or shall I say to whom I am referring … Summer my favorite time of year here in California the sky seems bluer this time of year even in the midst of all the rain clouds lingering over me I can’t wait to be free to enjoy a walk with no recompense my time is not my own I live on borrowed time ,come to think of it we all do for everyday is a blessing I choose to bless others with joy everyday the best I can if you allow me to I shall offer my blessings to you my friend …Take my hand and let’s walk QueenyJMG

Ways to win...

There are ways to be victorious even when defeat seems immanent small things we can do to keep sane in the light of madness pulling ourselves out of a so called funk is one small victory and so is keeping love alive despite all the odds being against us if we can hold on during these times then we are assured of an outcome that is in our favour i hold you close for one day i shall be yours and you shall be mine ...QueenyJMG

Nice to be me

Been thinkin about all that i have and all that i have not my and my haves most definitely out weigh my have nots i will not be sad i will not be weary for my days are looking bright and sunny looking up looking to the joy that lay ahead ahhhh sweet joy you wait for me...QueenyJMG

Missing You..

I am missing you like mad the infrequency of our talking has taken a small toll on me i know it is nothing that can be helped at this moment its just what it is right now my love has not diminished however .love i have for you has never faded i just want to reassure you of this i miss you much...QueenyJMG

Hunny im home...

Well after a short hiatus I'm home ugh but only briefly man my mind has had a million things to going through it and now i cant remember all i wanted to say grrrrrr...well in my absence my blog has sort of been neglected i miss the company of many people but one in particular the less we speak the more i want...i want to talk i want to hold i want to make all the distance go away If Only we could i do love you ...QueenyJMG

Whispers in the dark...

I whisper your name in the dark i say goodnight my sweet love i send it into the night sky i watch it soar into the darkness and it makes its way to you i pray it gently washes over you and you feel me , my heart call to yours i love you...my sweet King of my heart...QueenyJMG

A Dream...

I just woke from a Dream which was so real i woke choked up ,as i was as my the Dream My Dad and I were visiting sitting on the Santa Monica Pier , talking ,laughing ,holding hands i told him how much i miss him since his passing and we talked of other things good things He said he came back for a reason- to give me something. As it all unfolded he was describing the Dream i was having He looked so good so healthy and so happy as he did before he was ill as my Dream ended the last words he said was "What i came to give you is ,A DREAM"...and he cried as i cried tears of joy for reconciliation and tears of sadness for the departure...QueenyJMG

Invisible...

Have you ever felt invisible ? As if maybe you had faded into nothingness? opaque -transparent ignored. It drives me mad not knowing what someone is thinking as they play their games i know i shouldn't let it bother me if you wish to be indifferent about how you feel for me so be it i will let it be, for me out sight ,out of touch is ,out of mind i only hold on for so long then i let go and know that gave it my all... QueenyJMG

Gods screening process...

I guess God has a way of screening out people in our lives who are not suppose to be there and keep us in contact with those who are good for us and help us grow i believe all that come into our lives have purpose but not all are meant to stay.I have met many people some i want in my life indefinitely others are just meant to be temporary.Rain has purpose and Sun has purpose...we need both in order to grow... QueenyJMG

Gonna be Alright...

I'm hopeful of things to come i have allowed myself to give up on some of the bigger plans i had for myself, i sold them for a tiny band of gold that ended up being nothing more then a decorative bobble on my finger, well i thought about it and said my plans aren't Gods plans for me so hmmm ...take that perspective on things I was very much afraid to leave what has been familiar to me for fear of having to start a new life on my own most of all its the financial aspect of things that has me concerned i am past that fear ready to jump in lock stock and barrel into whatever awaits me A love of my love maybe there waiting or he may tire of the wait all i know is I'm ready to breathe again i have been stifled, suffocated, and held under too long ...QueenyJMG

I walk with a Smile...

I walk with a Smile its amazing how many people will give a double take as if i had called them by name. Joy can only be truly experienced when shared with others and when i see others smiling i always comment on their beautiful smile incentive of sorts for them to always remain smiling I always say if you have a compliment to give ,give it !!! Its worth isn't shown until you give it away...QueenyJMG

Our Deepest Fear..Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light not our darkness
That frightens us
We ask ourselves
Who am i to be brilliant,gorgeous,talented fabulous?
Actually who are you NOT to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people wont feel insecure around you
We are all meant TO SHINE
As children do
We were born to make manifest the
The glory of God that is within us
Its not just in some of us
Its in everyone
And as we let our own light SHINE
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same
As we're are liberated from our own fear
Our presence automatically liberates others...

QueenyJMG

Trials...

Trials we go through may seem endless and almost without purpose as you struggle through them i feel we go through them sometimes so that we may be able to offer a sympathetic hand out to those who are going through a similar situation i know God will never test us to the breaking point but we will sure get bent,burned and hopefully sculpted into something more beautiful for from the fire we are being transformed ,conformed and refined as silver and gold to SHINE....QueenyJMG

Live for today ...

I will live for today with my eye on tomorrow i will not be embittered i will not hold a grudge i will not be sorrowful for today is a blessing i will forgive those who wronged me i extend my hand to those who hate me i will smile for today is a gift...tomorrow is not promised but today is here ...live it as if it were your last... AND Always say I LOVE YOU!!!QueenyJMG

Faith...

Sometimes I feel as if my Faith is slipping like I'm failing I know He is here but the question is am i ? I love God i know he will never leave or forsake me i have been allowing too many things to cloud up my mind & to keep my eyes turned away and i need to focus them up i will proclaim my Love for You and not sway i will reach to you for strength i need to feel your touch You are the rock on which i will plant my feet upon....QueenyJMG

You move me...

You move me you make me want more, you make me want to move forward, and leave the past behind so i can get on with my life you make look towards a future that only God & time shall determine Our destiny I pray He will answered accordingly ...All things work together for the good of those who love The Lord according to His plan & purpose...QueenyJMG

Butterflies...

I saw a friend she said you look so happy i said i was. She ahhh is there someone ? She asked, i said as a matter of fact yes... There is. She asked so does he make you smile? I said yes, She asked does he make you feel giddy ? I said yes She asked but most of all does he give you butterflies i said he always has...QueenyJMG?

Wonderful...

Isn't it wonderful giving everything you have then having it thrown back in your face my stomach aches right now from a loss i knew was going to occur yet i watched it slip away i am hurt by you i am saddened by you you are afraid to make a move forward so you recoil in words of hurt if that is what you feel you need to do so be it I'm always here as a friend i never stop extending my hand to you allow yourself to reach out accept it i want to be friends...QueenyJMG

Compromise...

How long have we compromised our Happiness ?Ourselves? We have done the obligatory thing by trying to work it out for the kids but is this really helping them by seeing us in this loveless marriage NO. it doesn't they are not fools they know what we are living .this lie nothing but a facade painted walls pretty plants pickets fences and porch signs that should read welcome to my lie...when will we be happy we need to take the step in the direction we Wish to go...COMPROMISE NO MORE...QueenyJMG

Fighting Demons...

We all have demons to fight I'm just sick of fighting other peoples demons i shouldn't have to deal with what is killing you inside face them head on acknowledge them or else how will you get past them to become victorious over them i don't have the strength and energy to fight your fights...man up already......QueenyJMG

Last night...

Last night i had to shove my emotions down i had to swallow my tears it literally hurt my throat to push them all down .i am not sure if it made me feel better or worse to not let him see me cry but all i know now is its pushing back in the direction i don't want to go,i just pray he doesn't kill me(emotionally) before i truly get to live.ugh sick of it all right now.I will be okay when the sun finally rises i need the Sun...QueenyJMG

I wake...

I wake with your name on my lips- i smile and think its going to be a good day ,i stretch & yawn as i look at the empty side of the bed i imagine you there- i smile and say one day, i rise and clutch my robe its cold when your not here -i smile and say i will speak with him today and the coldness will turn to warmth...QueenyJMG

Twilight...

I am somewhere between the here and the there in the midst of the early morning not quite awake yet still not asleep ,i hear the crickets still chirping begging the evening to remain so they might sing their song- as the birds of morning call for the sun to rise i see the white and purple flowers animated in neon as twilight surrounds me .I'm in a dream world,in the still of the night and break of day not here nor there....QueenyJMG

Making Memories...

When ever my Girls and I spend "quality "time together i always look at them and say ::MAKING MEMORIES :: because that's what i feel we are doing i tell them this is what i want you remember.I also say i know we have all been through some really ugly bad times but those are a vapor -distant ,gone ,no more i tell them they must acknowledge them but not to dwell on them Because those are not what define you . If we cant put those things aside it never gives us the opportunity to Enjoy all of the Happiness ready to fill our lives ...Be ready Be open Be hopeful of all the Good things waiting for you...QueenyJMG

Plan & Purpose...

I know God has plan and purpose in our lives Sometimes we don't see the bigger picture because we are not far up enough We sometimes hurt due to being unable to have what we want at that moment i have been down a lil' these past few days just wanting to cry and its okay to grieve as long as we rejoice in the things to come ...QueenyJMG

Contemplating...

Well i have been contemplating many things over ,there are so many issues yet to touch on which at this moment i don't feel like discussing and others that are common sense "why would i not " do that issues but as for now i feel my head is spinning... what ?where ?who? when? why?and how???ugh sorry got hit with a dose of reality ill be better tomorrow ..Queenyjmg

Things i do...

The things i do is for love nothing more i have all i need i don't need houses ,cars, jewelry. I need love ,kindness, and respect if you can offer these things to me then i will be a happy woman and i will make you a happy man...For things of this world aren't owned by you they own you...how many hours of the day did you have to strife to obtain those things? I am guessing too many ...Would you spend one hour working to give your loved one things or would rather have that hour to show your loved one how much they mean to you? Time cant be bought time cant be sold time must be cherished by young and thee old...its all we have.QueenyJMG

Venice Beach...

Had breakfast in Venice Beach yesterday morning with my Girls.God i love time with them the more time i spend alone with them the more i realize its time to take flight. We sat there on patio just basking in the joy of it all.I think we'd love to move out there Fresh start ,The carefree feel of it makes me smile it suits all of our personalities for sure.Well only God knows...what lay ahead for us...QueenyJMG

Good to be...

Its good to be loved and its good to love i pray you will always feel my love even if when we don't talk or see one another Its funny how the sun recharges me (i kinda feel that way about you )it can be gone for a while but when I'm its rays oh how loved i feel .I really think God is the sun sometimes ,have you ever just closed your eyes face up to the sun and felt that radiance -yeah its as God has kissed my face I AM BLESSED...QueenyJMG

Liberated...

I feel liberated when I'm out of this prison such perfection when its me & the girls laughs smiles serious talks in confidence & trust. We are afforded the opportunity to grow and know one an other I want my girls to know me i want to know them i want to shape them the proper way apart from fear anger cruelty and hatred Soon very soon...QueenyJMG

Our Chemistry....

Chemistry has many levels but its wonderful when one person can excite and stimulate all of them mentally, emotionally ,spiritually ,and physically i feel you cant share any of these with out love And to experience all of them with one person is a rare thing i have them in you...all inclusive...QueenyJMG

Feeling loved...

I am feeling so loved I'm soaring i smile with ease i sigh with thoughts of you you delight me you amuse me you complete me i long to be in your arms i desire to feel your lips upon mine i want to feel your hands in my hair such loving hands too i know they will not harm but only love me i want to hold you and let our hearts beat in unison just falling more deeply in love with one another for i am yours and you are mine its all just a matter of time and distance being erased...QueenyJMG

Colliding Hearts...

Hearts collide -space divide, lives are tied ,old love died -space erased, love replaced, smiling face outlined traced -wanting near ,newness fear ,distance. space -saving grace...QueenyJMG

No love...

You show no love you offer hate i see the coldness in you eyes it pains me to look at you have no regard for anyone not even your children heartless cruel you kill me with your words your hands do not comfort me they bruise me with malice are things done by you calculating cruelty is what you live...sad and alone is how you will die....Good bye to youQueenyJMG

Someone elses...

Its hard to really be in love when you "belong" to someone else i hate that fact i am where i am. If i could leave this very moment i would i know id be safer happier and loved.I feel as if I'm cheating the one i love because i cant give my all yet i know right now it is not be.I never planned on allowing my heart to love again yet it does.How do we plan these things? When theres a connection a bond a mutual respect who are we to say in our minds it cant be when in our heart it has already occurred we don't chose when to love it just happens the question is ???Where do we go from here? ...QueenyJMG

Love can't be bought...

Love can't be bought or sold it must be given and received i don't need things to make me happy i never have.I do need good people in my life Sometimes my compassion and concern gets mistaken for love in a romantic form, We live in a love starved world and any kind of love is sometimes assumed to be more we all want to be loved wildly with unabashed resolve i do love almost everyone i know because if you don't love the people your around what sense is that? My heart is big enough to love all yet my heart belongs to one It is yours ready for the taking because many feel my love but you own it...QueenyJMG

Blessed ...

I spent time with my daughters last night feeling Free,Happy, & Unencumbered.What a way to live, With no worries .We are all so much alike they have my artistic ,romantic soul i love to be able to talk with them and know they get what i feel.We were driving home and I have a sweet soft hand slip into mine i cant ask for anything more then the love of my children...I AM BLESSEDQueenyJMG

Seasons of the soul...

Seasons of the soul -i was living in my season of sadness and gloom i have stepped out of the winter of my discontent to find the warm sun shining upon my face ready to enter into my season of joy and peace i move closer to the light feeling its warmth pulling me home away from the coldness of my past i walk in the rays of your sunshine leading me closer to you...QueenyJMG

Take me away...

So want to be out of here so want to be in your arms away from this place i want to be taken by you to a place of love.Sometimes i feel my words fall on deaf ears like the person to whom i am speaking to doesn't hear me please hear my words please know my heart...QueenyJMG

All for you...

My love is all for YOU take it ,keep it, cherish it ,own it know i LOVE you -NEED you -i WANT you please don't ever feel anything to the contrary .Never doubt my intentions if you need me to proclaim it then i shall i never want to lose you i would be devastated if you walked away ... QueenyJMG

Sorry...Uggh

Wow i am sorry ---i guess i didn't realize i had been on this self indulged pity party i was gluttonously feeding on my sorrows ugh i guess sometimes i don't even look at myself or read my own words ,The only way to see the future is by looking forward not by looking back at things past i was feeling sad last night and realized blah... snap yourself out of it woman...what is this nonsense there are many blessings abundantly yours for the taking you must allow yourself to partake in the goodness of them all ...there most assuredly is more good in the world then bad ...it's all how you choose to look at it.I see the good in US...QueenyJMG

Mad about You...

Not sure if its healthy or right to be so crazy mad head over heels in love with someone without being close { in terms of miles } to them.I want so badly to hold you to feel your lips to feel your body pressed against mine your arms holding me your being encompassing me and the less we talk the more empty i feel i need you to know how much i care about time spent with you i miss you and love you madly...QueenyJMG

Too long...

Been too long since i laughed the way i just did talking to an old friend i must admit I'm never left feeling down after talking to him if you happen to read this you know who i mean thanks for that you crack me up been too long since we chatted but man was today ever the right day for us to talk ....thanks for the laughs...QueenyJMG

He could never...

He could never need me the way you need me -he could never look at me the way you look at me -he could never want me they way you want me- he could never love me they way you love me -he could never have my heart the way You HOLD MY HEART all of me belongs to all of you...I AM YOURS...QueenyJMG

Not what I asked for...

I asked for protection you gave me abuse- i asked for compassion you gave ridicule-i asked for strength you made me weak-i asked for joy you gave me sadness- i asked reassurance you gave me insecurity- i asked for laughter you made me cry I asked for love you gave me hate-...Goodbye to you..Sad Soul..I needed you to be a man and all you gave me was a boy
QueenyJMG

You get me...

I was just thinkin' about how much you "get me" with no words or a billion jumbled nonsense words spoken in a run on sentence you feel my heart you know my thoughts i couldn't ask for a more attune person to hold my heart. I know it is safe with you it fits perfect in your hands safely you keep me lovingly I'm held.Laughing,Crying,Loving,Sighing all of my moods are gotten by you...which is not an easy thing ...Thank You for knowing me ...QueenyJMG

Looking forward....

Well I'm looking forward to alot of things bright future ahead Many Smiles,Lots of Laughs,Unending Love...I can't help feeling this sense of overwhelming joy .Gettin' up brushing off the sadness of past things and so ready for what lay ahead.Soooo ready ...Question... ? Are you ready to move forward ? QueenyJMG

Dreams on the Shore...

The Shore holds many of my Dreams i have whispered to the Ocean i sat yesterday morning on my captivating beaches and wrote it was only 20 minutes but 20 minutes spent properly i guess that's part of what life is spending our time on the right things Life should not be wasted on things that harm us or others .We should be giving others Love,Happiness and Joy I pray that i have given everyone i have met one if not all of those precious things ...QueenyJMG

Uncontained...

Yesterday as i drove home down my picturesque Southern California Coast i had this utter and complete joy i couldn't contain this Smile that came upon me which i could not have removed even if i wanted to.It was as if i had been consumed with sheer,complete,unadulterated love.There was an anticipation of good things ahead as if i was being reassured that what i am living is not all i have to look forward to.A better Place- A better Time -A better Love waiting ...Life goes on Life gets better...And even when this life is said and done -Ahhh the splendor yet to behold i have so much hope I'm giddy as child ...QueenyJMG

To Get to You...

Do you ever feel like there wasn't enough hours in the day to spend with someone you love as if you would be cheated by resting your eyes to sleep because if they were not at least in your dreams it was wasted time. I feel like there isn't anything i would do to get to you -to be with you i know i may be asking for something you may not want right now if that's the case it is understood with no recompense. I just want my heart to be known to you with no reservation QueenyJMG

Closer...

I would love to be closer to you .Have you proximal ,your presence felt not just wished to look into your eyes as we talked,kissed,& loved one another.Days spent together laughing and just being...{Sigh}A girl can Dream.A girl can Hope..A girl can Wish...Someday. I Pray...QueenyJMG

Arms wide open....

I long to share an infinite horizon with you. To hold you from sunrise to sunset to be inseparable
to love you endless all the days of our lives. I want to ruin you with my love. I want to bring life to your heart i want to dwell in your thoughts i want you to feel me, hold me ,love me.I want for you to feel loved ,needed ,wanted...let all the hurt melt away make a new start like the rise of the sun endless possibilities shared together.Days of happiness abounding ...Accept what i offer & you shall never regret the chance you took on Love...

QueenyJMG

Better Day...

Better Day today not that yesterday was a bad day at all i was just a little less lively ,i must say.A couple people that know me well ,called me on it.Sun is shining ,birds are singing ,and it's my day off .I think it may be good to be in the company of myself i can sort things out or not. I may just let it ride and let them sort themselves out .I am but one woman i love many but my heart is kept by one.Take it, Keep it ,Treasure it and i shall honor you with all of my love. QueenyJMG

Yesterday was a lil off...

I suppose yesterday was a slightly off day i felt a lil pulled away from almost everyone .Sometimes my mind gets pulled in a million different directions and cant settle on one thought i overwhelm myself at times GRRRRR....Yet today is a better day feeling more focused more pulled together i have to admit i procrastinate and when i do it leaves me a jumbled mess ok so here's the plan...Allow myself more time to complete tasks .That's it easy peasy!!!! Now for the follow thru ahhh that's the hard part...QueenyJMG

Sometimes words aren't necessary...

Sometimes words aren't necessary, i feel silence can speak volumes.Kindred spirits and hearts can just feel what the other is thinking whether it be Happiness,SadnessUncertainty I long to spend my days with someone who "gets me" its a sad thing to be involved and never been known. QueenyJMG

Million miles a minute...

Right now my heart is racing a million miles a minute not sure why just trying to wrap my mind around things that have come to light.Some things are grand,glorious and exciting -Others are realistic,sad and inevitable.Yet regardless of either; a conclusion and decision will have to be made.I am ready for what lay ahead Good -Bad ,We can't have with sun without experiencing a little rain.However i know the sun will always shine and allow me to feel it's glory QueenyJMG

Inner Peace...

An inner peace is what i have being in your proximity i know we cant be physically close yet i feel this physical connection and know when we come together it will be grand & magnificent all fears,doubts,reservations will be put to rest the only issue that may occur will be in the leaving and the time spent being away from one another.Time & distance do not detour love ,it will only seal the bond held.I hold you,I keep you,I love you...
QueenyJMG

Missing You...

Missing time spent with you one day feels like years i look forward to the day of no more miles between .If we are meant to be together then a paradise is what we shall have ,all of our days.Time bring me near ,Distance dissolve,Days be kind in your absence,Let everyday move me just a little closer to you...QueenyJMG

Stay On the up side of things...

Been trying to stay on the up side of things even when it feels as if my world around me is crashing down ,- so ready to leave this mess.I'm sorry that life has brought me to this point yet i know from pain comes beauty out the ashes rises the refined beauty of gold & silver that is what i look to...the final product of all the pain & suffering and this too shall pass Smile with me, Dance with me, Sing with me for our days of glory shall be many and days happiness never ending,oh sweet future take me away past be gone - no more ...i long to bask in the joy of your presence...QueenyJMG

Thinkin...

My daughter called me asking for advice i am still honored & humbled to be the Mother of such a grounded child perfect no ...grounded ...yes.i speak for all of my Girls yet my eldest has had to bare the the burden sometimes of her birth order Christen i just want you to know that i am proud of you,i love infinitely i love being your friend ,your confidant, but most of all your Mother I LOVE YOU MY BELOVED CHILD... QueenyJMG

Waiting to Fly Free.....

I have been waiting too long to fly free my wings which had been clipped are now healed ,they have regrown into a more splendorous wing -my cage is still here yet i know where the secret key is hidden its just a matter of time for my flight to take place .I shall fly high and far with my flock.We shall be happy beyond all our dreams ,We shall soar as if on angels wings away from things that once held us here -Oh blue skies carry us away to days happiness may they be countless under your Vail of blue... QueenyJMG

Defeated ...ugh

Friday i have to admit i was feeling a lil defeated i hate that but i have to write about it just to "get it out" its amazing that some people can be cruel,heartless,and soul slaying in their words and actions i have learned to build this wall of armour around my heart to protect from thus said person.The only problem with that is ,we cant pick and choose who gets kept out at times. I do realize there are many more good people in my life then there are bad, So i reflect on that knowing i am more then what one sad individual says and know that what others say is much more worthy to resonate in my head & heart...QueenyJMG

Choice...

The only people who refuse to feel my love are those who choose not to accept i offer my love to everyone ,some is friendship love, other is compassionate love ,and another is romantic love i learned at a young age we are not invincible if we feel something for someone we need to let them know for fear that tomorrow may be too late. Live your days as if you were fulfilling a dying wish. When driving by the mountains look up at then when driving by the ocean look at its beauty when walking down main street look at the glorious blue skies above you there is beauty in everything we just need to take time to recognize it -Free choice -Free will, what a gift...QueenyJMG

Delight in time spent...

I delight in your company always left feeling better then last time never enough is how i feel wanting more ,wanting more yes wanting more i listened to the words you said i heard the beat of your heart i felt thee warmth of your smile i admire i adore i appreciate the friendship that has been built and grown between us i miss you when you go i carry your words of encouragement with me and i wear them as if a shield of armour that protects me from all bad things ...QueenyJMG

Blue Skies...

Blue Skies Sunshine day -days like this send me soaring into the great beyond i find myself smiling bigger, laughing louder,feeling better about life in general
Love abounds from every pore its flows from my being i feel as if the Lord had made this day special for me and wrapped it in blue sky ribbon...run wild run free run long and back to me.---Enjoy...QueenyJMG

Simply Amazing...

I am amazed by the splender of your love you give me so much and I offer so little in return I see the work of your hands I am humbled by your glory you hold me and keep me i am yours for all eternity i walk with boldness and confidence you give me wings to fly ...I am made to be yours

Inspired...

You inspire my lips to smile you inspire my heart to love ,your therapeutic words give life to my soul you give rest to my aching heart my eyes tear not from sadness but from joy.You bring happiness when i need it most...QueenyJMG

Love Deeply ...

I do love deeply with no regret there are many levels to my love Motherly, Godly,Friendship,Sisterly,and Romantic LOVE I love with care,compassion,conviction and passion I soar to great heights to achieve happiness among those I love ,at times I have hurt those I love as well with no intent but hurt is hurt whether planned or done by the mere stupidity of my words or actions it is never anything I want to do ever.If I have hurt you by loving you I am truly sorry I Love You still...Until QueenyJMG

Put back the pieces ....

We all are afraid to love deeply for fear of being hurt or falling on our faces I would rather try and fail then to never have the hope in something great I choose to have my heart be wide open and if it gets trampled beaten and broken so be it I tried I took a chance sometimes you win sometimes you fail but one will never know if they don't allow love to settle and grow as big as it can . I will not shatter your heart but help you put back the pieces I LOVE YOU MADLY...QueenyJMG

Feeling Sad ...

Was feeling sad for being married 20 + years and never really been known by my husband there are many facets to me he has never seen or cared to see i am tolerable annoyance is what i felt like .Sad to not feel loved,needed,or wanted.I was down for a long time having felt unworthy i now realize his love or lack of love doesn't define me i can walk away knowing i tried the best i could he didn't accept me.So i hurt some but not enough to ruin my love for someone else that will choose to accept it one day...QueenyJMG

Better person...

I want people to walk away from knowing me being a better person from our friendship maybe that I gave them insight,encouragement,love something of value as I value them I invest in friends.... my time,my love ,my heart I feel honored to be given the opprotunity to be let into the lives of many...QueenyJMG

Yes I know...

Yes I do know I am loved I didn't realize how much and I am sorry for that I choose at times to find myself undeserving of an amazing fairytale love it doesn't have to be rainbows n butterflies but it is understanding communication and a compromise to "agree to disagree" but in all this I know it is LOVE... You give ear to my needs ,love to my heart & complete joy life ..whatever this ends up as I am your friend forever love starts small ,builds big, and lasts forever in my heart & KNOW YOU ARE LOVED BY ME...QueenyJMG

Smiles...

Smiles why would you not wear one ? The joy brought to others by one simple upturn of the lips is immeasurable i understand there are times when a smile seems almost impossible to muster under the circumstance but when it's all over we must remind ourselves {sigh} an other day Blessed to be alive let me try to bring as much joy as i can to the lives of others weather it's feeding the hungry,clothing the needy,or giving a smile to anyone who passes in front of me.It costs nothing but means everything SMILE...YOU ARE LOVEDQueenyJMG

Blessed,Happy & Just Plain Honored

Easter puts things into perspective on a spiritual level for me, washed clean ,made new, forgiven of all my sins and all i have to do is accept it how easy is that ? To be given such an amazing gift and know all i have to do is receive. We all beat ourselves up feeling unworthy at times but i say to know that someone loved me enough to die for me doesn't make me any more worthy but it does put value of myself that i thought i never deserved.We all have Value, Meaning ,Worthiness in the eyes of a KING... that brings great honor to be known as His QueenyJMG

Come walk with me...

Come walk with me and take my hand forever wilt thou stay? to hold me close and love me long forever and a day...QueenyJMG

Happy to hear your voice again...

You know i have missed you & being incommunicado with you my heart died a little at the lack of contact between us,i understand now what the rational behind your absence was and i am glad to have you back where you belong (in my ear) you please me beyond all measure you are a great source of joy in my life never take that away again i need you like i need the air i breathe is that clear enough ? QueenyJMG

Happy Again..

Okay I have to decided to be HAPPY AGAIN,happy with myself and realize that I will be content either in the arms of the man I love or sitting alone on the beach the circumstances of my life do not define me. In all thy circumstances be content...worry about nothing pray about everything .It will all fall into place and I will be exactly where I need to be.QueenyJMG

Your eyes...

The love i see in your eyes so evident the smile on your face makes me feel wanted the tone of your voice makes me feel loved, i want to touch you, hold you ,to keep you but time and distance keeps me here for now until the time is right your love will continue to grow in my heart QueenyJMG

Good Conversation....

With you i have unending easy conversation you leave me wanting more,the days we don't talk i miss the joy you give me i always beam with happiness after our 5 minute or 5 hour conversations i just wanted you to know how i treasure you i think of you often ...QueenyJMG

I will not say good bye I will say see you soon good bye holds a finality to it which i do not accept see you soon holds a hope of reconcilation ,open arms warm embrace soft gentle kisses -Yes See You Soon...QueenyJMG

Will You...

Sunlight - shine bring your beauty ,show me the treasures of your light ,radiate your glory upon me ,make me wise to your ways, draw me into you, surround me with your warmth ,keep me ,protect me ,dream me,breathe me,allow no harm to befall me,love me as i love you...QJmg

Romantic Kinda Love...

We all search for a romantic kind of love we all want to be someones "everything" thier all thier one and only true love we all need to look into the eyes of our lover and just know ...the shape of thier heart feel complete, feel special, feel like they were the KING and had won the Queens heart and every treasure paled in comparison to her love Her love is of value and is immeasurable once bestowed QueenyJMG

Heartfelt Smiles

I smile because I can life has not made me so embittered that I can not Smile i have lots to be thankful for i have loved and been loved i wake up everyday is that not reason to have joy to share your happiness with others yes we're gonna have bad days yes we're gonna feel pain yet it doesn't mean we have to wallow in our grief LIFE GOES ON LIFE GET'S BETTER sorrows of today will not follow us around for the rest of our lives Grieving lasts for night but your joy will come in the daybreak...IT IS NEVER HOPELESS QueenyJMG

Today...

I died a lil today my Heart was left with a part of it taken left empty i did this i let it get to this i deserve nothing less then my empty heart i hurt a good man i let him walk away i never wanted him to go but i can only pray that he will return one day...QueenyJMG

So Sorry...

I'm so sorry i didn't live up to what you wanted you're right we need to take care of our own issues we have going on ,before we could ever pursue anything more i will remain loyal in my love to you meaning i hold you always in my heart be safe, be loved, be blessed but mostly be HAPPY... QueenyJMG

I want to kiss you hold your face in my hands and gently passionately kiss your lips i want to breath all the love i have into you to let you know you are loved by me i want to envelope your soul i want hold you in my arms forever safe and loved QueenyJMG

Can't stop...

I can't stop loving you i can't get you out of my head you are so perfect for me i am so perfect you i hate this thing that keeps us apart , i look into your eyes i see love i feel your love i only pray that u see and feel mine in return I AM YOURS AS LONG AS YOU WILL HAVE ME...QueenyJMG

My Heart ..Your Hands..

My heart is held in your hands cherished loved made safe protected even though we are far we are close as two people can be i can't say why things end up as they do but i live life with no regrets if i have loved it was meant to be at the moment in time and if it is meant to be it shall. Love never fails or disappoints only leaves you wanting more, to give more and to recieve more my Heart is yours always I LOVE YOU ENDLESSLY...QueenyJMG

Sat here thinking of you the smiles brought the laughter shared the tears shed together and i always come away with this complete sence of inner peace and joy i feel refreshed and renewed from time spent with you it feels like when i sit in the sun and it gently kisses your face it envelopes your soul makes feel loved well just had to say it and You know to whom i am refering...YES YOU...hugs & gentle kisses-QueenyJMG

Southern California..i love it

just came home from driving down PCH(pacific coast highway)at sunrise no less as i driving i see the sun rising in my rear view mirror as i see it start to shine on the water like a million tiny diamonds waiting to be snatched up and placed upon my head like a crown i love SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA nothing but death can make me depart from my west coast im so blessed beyond measure it's unfathomable to partake of such beauty and know this is far less then what awaits us in heaven I CAN ONLY IMAGINE...QueenyJMG

Let me love you...it couldn't be

I never meant for my life to be turned upside down in my late thirties and yet it is all because i wasn't afforded the ability to love you ,All you had to do was accept my love but you turned it down blindly you never allowed yourself to be happy you were too busy living in your world of hatred and betrayel i wasn't the betrayer yet felt the wrath of your anger.Well it's said it done it's over my LOVE will no longer be offered to you it will grow here in my heart ready to be given to another your loss shall be his gain....QueenyJMG

Finally back online i have made some new friends that have become quite etched into my heart and mind when i think of them they compell me to SMILE and BEAM WITH JOY ...QueenyJMG

Yesterday was such a Perfect California Day I saw myself walking hand n hand down My beautiful Main Street with Someone Special Pacific Ocean as the backdrop Smiling hands swinging Heart about burst from all the Joy I am experiencing ... (sighhhhh) Soon very Soon QueenyJMG

I called to you...

I called to you and you came in my time of need you held me ,whispered in my ear that you loved me,you dried my tears,made me sigh,gave me happiness i know not how long i will have you but for this time i am truly grateful thank you for loving me...QueenyJMG

Someone once told me I was a very complicated person which kinda took me by surprise but I guess if having Emotions,Opinions,and the Need to express myself is being complicated so be it. I'm just trying to make the best out of a most unbearable situation with a SMILE on my face I'm not trying to be swallowed by my grief any longer I have been down too long.I am ready to move forward with good people in my life I have no need for anyone that makes me feel bad about myself  I offer friendship to all who ask and love to all that chose to accept..QueenyJMG ❤

I must have sighed a thousand sighs last night,thinking about you thinking about how i wanted to be anyplace but here at the moment,pushed down a million tears to realize that sadness is a temporary feeling to temporary situation as long as i can wake up the next day with a Smile on my face realizing the sun will SHINE on me again...i can never lose;like lil orphan Annie always sang the sun will come out tomorrow ;) QueenyJMG

Thinkin.....♪♫♩♩♬

*I had you on my mind which brought a Smile to my lips and a skip to my step,There was something almost transportive in those thoughts I had this lingering thought that You may have been even thinking of me at the exact moment and our Souls were dancing together sharing space awaiting for our lives to cross other then for the brief minutes we meet here and there.Just a thought...QueenyJMG